ADVERTISEMENT

• (303): View more from Colorado

  You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.

  Fav 20 6029 1352

  share tweet
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.

  Fav 6 3951 1385

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (214): View more from Texas

  My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.

  Fav 72 6862 1776

  share tweet
  

• (708): View more from Illinois

  its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something

  Fav 35 6107 2231

  share tweet
  
• 

  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (404): View more from Georgia

  Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.

  Fav 7 2839 1155

  share tweet
  

• (210): View more from Texas

  The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.

  Fav 3 1538 777

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (678): View more from Georgia

  Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!

  Fav 4 1857 878

  share tweet
  

• (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.

  Fav 5 1118 1366

  share tweet
  

• (805): View more from California

  WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH

  (1-805): View more from California

  budget cuts

  (805): View more from California

  YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS

  (1-805): View more from California

  budget cuts are serious business

  Fav 14 4428 1291

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (770): View more from Georgia

  Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check

  Fav 3 713 1661

  share tweet
  

• (217): View more from Illinois

  I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...

  Fav 3 1181 843

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (339): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm cool with that

  Fav 3 1696 580

  share tweet
  

• (773): View more from Illinois

  And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive

  Fav 2 544 372

  share tweet
  

• (828): View more from North Carolina

  SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW

  Fav 0 584 358

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.

  Fav 1 79 10

  share tweet
  

Randomize