you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.