there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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