Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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