I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
