She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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