He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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