She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
