i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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