I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
