wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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