My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
