i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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