no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize