I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Found the puke drawer
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
