He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I can't put those talents on a resume
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize