if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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