I accidentally burped into my bong.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
