office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
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