okay pat passed out under dana's car
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
