i can't believe i had my finger in that
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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