Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
