Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
