You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize