I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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