Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
