So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
