I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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