dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
