my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
