For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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