There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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