Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Buhtt sex?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
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Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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