oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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