Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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