I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
