sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
