A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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