according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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