You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
