So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
