remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
