Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
