Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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