For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
