is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
