erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Are we still banned from the library?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
