Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
