I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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