Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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