I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
