Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
