I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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