Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
