His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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