In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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