Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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