Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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