I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize