umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
