I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
