he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
