why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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