Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Dignity is for republicans.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize