Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize