God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
